I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
