I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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