Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Randomize
