i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
