let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
