Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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