Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
