John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
