i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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