just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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