Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
