There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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