YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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