She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
