Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
