And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
