only if we run a train.
done.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
