hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
