she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My balls are so social today.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
