They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
