Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
