Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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