You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
