Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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