I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
