I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
