sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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