Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
