He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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