the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
