I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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