He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
