Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize