Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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