No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
