Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
