I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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