I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
