is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
wat bout pragnant strippers??
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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