it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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