They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize