is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
