i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
