I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
