Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
