At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
