Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
