dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
