where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I need to sanitize my soul.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
