my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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