The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
