butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
