Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
