why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
