fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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