That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Shame is for Republicans.
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