I wannas sexs uuuuu
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
