You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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