a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
