I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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