it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
