Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
