Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize